As Funerals Go...

As funerals go, this one was as good as it gets. I’ll get back to the topic of prayer eventually, but this week I’ve been pretty much consumed with the preparations for last night’s (March 15) memorial service for Brenda. That’s Brenda Smith, a member of PCC with her husband and two sons for several years. She died in her sleep last Saturday night. I was told about her sudden death on Sunday morning between the first and second worship services. It was a challenge to preach in the second service with Brenda’s tragic death weighing heavy on my mind. Sometimes I simply pray, “God help me do my job.”

Immediately after the service I dashed to their home about 5 minutes from the church. My wife, the LPC, accompanied me. Extended family had already gathered to try and comfort Brenda’s husband and sons (ages 13 & 7). I embraced Jeff and each of his sons and then gathered everyone in the kitchen to pray. What do you pray in that situation? I have yet to find the formula or magic words that can fix such a tragedy. I believe the fact that we pray is more important than the specific words we say. It’s the act of calling upon the Lord for his presence and strength and comfort. I wasn’t there to fix anything; I there to pray and cry with the family.

Last night we had a full house for the memorial service. I would guess about 350 people came to pay their respects, grieve Brenda’s passing, and celebrate her life. Showing up makes a difference. It’s not so much what you say, the grieving aren’t likely to remember what you say anyway, it’s showing up that matters. People showed up. The service was not that different from many others I’ve officiated, at least as far as the order-of-service goes. There were a few songs, a few speakers (family members and friends), and then my message.

It was Brenda that made the difference. Those who knew her were so blessed by her sense of humor, her extreme loyalty, her optimism, her eagerness to serve others, and the Christ-like love that poured out of her heart for family, friends, neighbors, strangers, and stray animals. As the different speakers shared their stories it was as if Brenda was with us, blessing all of us again. Of course there were plenty of tears, but at some point laughter and the warm memories of her life prevailed. Before the service ended the party had already begun. After the benediction the church courtyard was filled with people eating pizza, chips, finger-sandwiches, cupcakes, and all manner of other snack-food as we celebrated Brenda’s life and gave thanks to God for giving us Brenda for some 45 years. Brenda must have been loving it. She always was the life of the party.

Perhaps my wife summed it up best. She told me that several people had said, “This is the first funeral I’ve ever been to that actually made me feel better.” Maybe it was the encouraging stories about Brenda that helped… or the music… or full-house… or the party food… or maybe even my message. Or maybe the Lord himself really was with us. He really does answer prayer you know.